A good friend you haven't met yet


Hi Reader,

Happy Weird Wednesday, and if you're in the US, happy shorter work week as well. I hope you have the opportunity to unplug and immerse yourself in summer tomorrow.

Question of the week

What's the best way to approach a new contact when you want them to refer you for a role at their company?

If this interaction feels high stakes and is making you nervous, try to shift the focus from the job to the relationship you're building with the contact. If you're contacting them about a specific role, even if you don't end up getting that specific job, if you establish a meaningful connection, it could help you stay connected about other future openings. If you feel like this chance now is your only chance, that sense of urgency and scarcity could come through in your interactions and make it seem like you're just after a job rather than expanding your network.

Think about a good friend you made as an adult. What was the process of meeting and becoming friends like?

Now, imagine this potential contact becoming a good friend, a mentor, or someone more meaningful than just a LinkedIn request. Fast-forward the timeline a bit to experience how it feels to have a stronger connection with this person. To care about them. Hopefully this should allow you to feel less nervous and more comfortable and connected.

Using these feelings to guide you, review their profile for things you might have in common, things you admire, or a question you might want to ask. Note that this would not be a "pick their brain" type question, but rather a getting-to-know-you type question. Since you only have 300 characters to make the connection request, you'll need to limit what you say, so choose one of these, but make it meaningful and genuine.

Here's an example connection request message to Sam, your 2nd connection at Widget Co.:

Hi Sam! I've heard great things about Widget Co. and I'm interested in the open Design Lead role there. I see you have a degree in paleontology. How accurate do you find the movie Jurassic Park? Would love to buy you virtual coffee and chat about bones and widgets.

Sam, upon accepting your connection request, might tell you that the dinosaur skeleton on the logo is actually from the Cretaceous period, or something like that, before taking you up on the offer for coffee, but the difference between you and other folks in their inbox is that you've personalized the request and given Sam some incentive to participate (This person is offering to buy me coffee AND have me talk about myself and my paleontology degree? Cool!).

Give someone the opportunity to share their passion with you and it's a great way to make a good friend. Plus, you could learn some cool things along the way! If Widget Co. has a referral program, Sam can put your application in for you, get a nice bonus if you get hired, and help you increase your chance of getting the job by seven times!

Join the WEIRD Process Pilot next week!

One spot has reopened for the WEIRD Process Pilot starting next Tuesday, July 9th! This pilot is an accelerated version of The WEIRD Process happening on five Tuesdays (7/9, 7/16, 7/23, 7/30 and 8/6) from 12-1pm EDT. Participation is free and anyone is welcome to grab this spot before Tuesday! Email me if you'd like to join - first come, first serve.

Stay weird!

Cee | Cultivate Your Weirdness

Cultivate Your Weirdness

Beat burnout, banish "broductivity" and deliver meaningful impact in line with your energy, authenticity and values. I write about career development, compassionate leadership, personal branding, entrepreneurship/side humbles (side hustles without the hustle), being multipassionate, celebrating your neurodivergent brain, recapturing playfulness and more!

Read more from Cultivate Your Weirdness
A laptop screen with splashes of different colors of paint coming out of it

Hey there! I hope the start of your week has been full of moments of unexpected joy. What I’m learning lately I recently joined a course on newsletter growth which started this week. I’m taking it with a couple other small business friends. The goal of this course is to grow a free newsletter that delivers value and helps connect you with the community you serve best. While I have experience writing newsletters for other brands, even brands I’ve created, this brand is the most personal to me...

A laptop screen with splashes of different colors of paint coming out of it

Hi Reader, It's been almost two months since I've published my newsletter. What happened? I've been dealing with a variety of personal stuff, including chronic unwellness, that have taken time and energy away from creating and publishing content. One of the reasons I originally became self-employed was to be my own boss. However, being chronically ill, I'm still not my own boss - my body is. And it's quite the unpredictable boss. Unlike most bosses, this boss often tells me not to work. Like...

Hi Reader, You've made it to Wednesday. Remember, the only thing you need to do in this moment is breathe. If everything else feels overwhelming right now, just take it all one thing at a time, and ask yourself what you can put down. Events this week The Get WEIRD to Plan Your Career Workshop is today and there's still time to register! Learn a variety of techniques to take action on your career plans while building community with other career builders. The scheduling page for my free Lay It...